I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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