it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
