Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
