I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
