i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
So apparently I’m into choking now
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
