I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize