Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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