chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
