so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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