I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
