End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize