just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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