i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Who died my cat blue again?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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