Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
