I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
