i don't like sucking hair
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
