I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
