Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
