thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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