oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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