Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
