I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
