I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
