Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
