Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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