Having a random hookup so left but love u
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
