Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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