we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
