lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
