I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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