I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Panties = found
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
