Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
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