Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
