I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
