idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
