I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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