it wasn't lemon gatorade
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
