so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
