i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
try to milk me bitch
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
