Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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