id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
