How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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