Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
