some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
