Welp...herpes.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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