Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize