4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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