I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
