i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
