i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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