walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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