Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
