is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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