haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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