I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
