On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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