he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
