You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
do herpes really smell.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
