So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
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