So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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