Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
