Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
