All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
