apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
It was confusing and full of hummus
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
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I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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