why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
