we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
